Tea and biscuits

December 11, 2019December 8, 2019

Day 11 Pineapple Sage Herbal Tea

“Get grounded and centered with a smile.”

Pineapple bits, sage, apple pieces, rosehips, lemongrass, orange peel, calendula, rose petals, cornflowers, pineapple essence.

This autumn seasonal tea is available September 1st – December 31st. Sage has become such a popular tea ingredient – it certainly adds a bold, complex flavor and nourishing health benefits – but the pairing of fruit makes for a palate pleaser. Our autumn seasonal favorite combo is highlighted in our pineapple sage herbal tea. The pineapple gives you that invigorating beachy tropical feeling, while the sage is that autumnal warm blanket. The combo is the best of both seasons!

You know what makes me suspicious? Sage being used for anything other than a turkey or a chicken. I’m not a fan. I don’t burn white sage because I’m not Native American. And culinary sage isn’t a favourite of mine. Not sure how much smiling I’m going to be doing with this. But let’s give it a whirl.

I only use sage in my Thanksgiving turkey stuffing. That’s it. I like fresh pineapple only. Much to my husbands’ chagrin, I hate pineapple cooked or hot in way, shape, or form.

VW: do we divorce our friendship over pineapple on pizza??

When I dumped this packet into my cup, I was already forming opinions on how much this was going to taste like some weird pineapple turkey thing.

Inside of the bag, the tea has a light pineapple scent which I found pleasant.

Once the hot water was added, the sage came alive, and I found myself drawn in. I guess I would that this was like going into a bookstore and seeing a cover for a book that you would NEVER buy in a million years, but something about it, maybe it’s pretty, or the blurb is impressive, so you buy it. Then you go home, and you read it in one sitting, and you find yourself impressed, changed maybe by the whole experience.

This was that tea for me.

I was sad that I needed the whole bag to brew. I wanted to keep drinking it. It was comforting in a way that I didn’t expect.

The savory sage toned down the sweetness of the pineapple, and the orange came in to add a little bit of acid that is needed.

I think I would drink this daily. Especially late in the day when I needed a little something to help me relax.

I am sure that VW is going to be surprised, and based on our track record she’ll hate this. But I think it is really a surprising tea, like or hate. It’s different, its vibrant and is filled with flavors that all work together in an extraordinary way that makes this at least to me a great cuppa.

I’m drinking this cup after HW. I’m eyeing is suspiciously. It smells like sage and pineapple. Aptly named.
I’m so reluctant to drink this, I’m wasting time on line. Hold up. What type of sage is PD using here? There is a pineapple sage. Which makes this blend not too far to the side of WTF. But PD does not tell us what type of sage they use.

did they use pineapple sage? it doesn’t say! I get frustrated with companies that don’t get specific on ingredients.

In an effort to not drink this, we’re going to look at some of the other ingredients. Followers of this blog know I use rosehips, lemongrass, calendula and rose petals in my own blends.

Rose hips develop on wild roses as the flowers drop off. These fruits (related to strawberries!) are one of the most concentrated sources of vitamin C. Need to fight scurvy? Don’t have oranges? Rose hip tea will save you. My dad’s family has some land in Maine along the coast near Portland. There are wild rose bushes that cling to the banking, hanging over the rocks and water. My cousin and I used to eat them raw, and we tried to make jam of them. We were like… 8. Maybe. And didn’t make jam so much as we made a mess. I use rose hips in all sorts of herbal blends for pleasure and for colds.

Lemongrass is commonly used in Vietnamese and Thai dishes. In tea, it has a light lemony flavour and blends well with fruits and citrus peels and ginger. It can be soothing to the tummy. I love using it in blends, and tend to keep a 16 ounce bag around, as I am a tisane mix-master. What do our friends at webMD have to say? Nice things. https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-719/lemongrass

Oh… I had a sip… ugh…

Calendula! (If I keep typing I won’t pick up the mug and do that again). I love calendula, or pot marigold. I also keep lots of this on hand for blending. I put a bit in my period pain blend -it is good for menstrual cramps. It adds a bright shot of yellow to pale blends. It is helpful for reflux and inflamed bowels. Taking care of both ends at once! Now, this is not the marigolds you buy to plant around your tomatoes to keep bugs away. Don’t consume those.

Why is my mouth dry?

Rose petals.

Did I tell you the story of lunch with my Nana in June? If I did, Imma tell you again because if I keep typing I won’t take another sip and keep questioning my sanity.

Readers will recall that I made a bunch of varieties of shortbread in June for my dad and stepdad for father’s day. A week later was Nana’s birthday. I was at lunch with Nana, my mum and my stepdad. I was telling my stepdad about some new shortbread I had just made with crushed rose petals in the dough as well as in the pink coloured glaze.

Nana nodded and said they sounded delicious, and bemoaned her inability to try them due to her diabetes. Stepdad agreed, and offered to sample them. My mum stared at us all in horror and declared loudly “You can’t eat rose petals!” To which the three of us replied “Yes you can.”

*sigh* The tea… I don’t like it. It tastes like sage. Which I am not a fan of in any form. This tea would be perfect if they left out the sage.

Why is my mouth dry? *bravely takes another sip* Something in this tea is making my mouth dry. As I’m intimately familiar with almost all other ingredients, I’m going to go with _ sage. Evil, evil sage.

I’m giving this 1 pineapple out of 5.

December 10, 2019December 8, 2019

Day 10 Plum Pudding Dessert Tea

I included this plum pudding to make haters of the word moist squirm. Merry Christmas! https://www.food.com/recipe/moist-plum-pudding-490025

Green Tea, Orange Peel, Cinnamon, Red Currant ,Blackberry Leaf, Raspberry Leaf, Blue Cornflower, Plum/vanilla essences

I can’t find this one on the website. Advent Calendar Exclusive, we presume.

Hipster Wife isn’t going to be happy. She really doesn’t like Green Tea. With both Black and red raspberry leaves in this, I’d say it’s a good blend for period pain.

HW:*fuccccckkkkkkk green tea*

Do you remember how rare the Plum Puddin’ doll was? Do you remember when Plum Puddin’ was a boy? He and Huckleberry Pie were the only boys (Purple Pie Man doesn’t count). Wow, two posts in a row where I reference Strawberry Shortcake. How was my 80’s childhood?

When Plum Puddin’ was a boy. Our first trans doll? I’m going with it.

We warned you, gentle readers, this blog would be an adventure.

My cup is cooling. I’m excited to try this.

Oooo… I can taste the cinnamon and currrant. The cornflowers give that little lift of clove.

I’m dancing in my seat. This is really good. I’m also listening to one of Dave Gahan’s solo albums so it’s all goth techno and sexy lyrics in my ears. Back to the tea…

https://thequietus.com/articles/19076-interview-dave-gahan

There is about 4 teaspoons in this baggie. I like it when the good ones have this much in the envelope.

Raspberry leaves have a distinctive flavour. And I can’t taste them here. This tea is well blended. Good balance. And the ingredients hit the correct notes. I’ve had home made plum pudding. (Fed some to an elderly greyhound off my bosom one Christmas) {Don’t ask why. Just accept I have this life that is weird and wonderful.}

I’m drinking this and messaging Hipster Wife that i love it and i know she will hate it.

I don’t normally buy green tea. But if I did, I’d get this. 5/5 plums for this tea!

Well shit.

I was fully prepared to hate this.

But I actually loved it. I found it to be delightful.

Who are you and what have you done with my best friend??? First football, now this? Is it aliens? Is it the blob?

I usually don’t like green tea, and the amount of it last year’s calendar (Adagio) made me want to cry a lot. I take my tea strong and with some kind of milk.

Once a long time ago, in a state far away, I made a cup of orange-green tea and without thinking, put my usual milk in it. The milk instantly curdled, and I have since not been a fan. I have extreme opinions on green tea and matcha and how it should be served, and its all part of my tea fetish, which I shall not bore you with.

That said, this cup was splendid. I think the cinnamon stepped up and made the flavor more robust, and I did enjoy the plum sweetness that was just a little light. I am really impressed with the quality of the tea that PD uses. I know I keep saying that, but I actually love to see what the tea leaves are going to look like afterward. It’s fascinating to me.

I would give this tea 4 plums. Probably 5. But 4 for sure.

December 9, 2019December 5, 2019

Day 9 Gratitude Blend Black Tea

YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS I have been meaning to write a review of this tea.

Black tea, orange peels, blue cornflowers, strawberries, raspberry leaves, bergamot oil, strawberry essence.

This is an Earl Grey (by virtue of it being a black tea with bergamot). PD also calls this Strawberry Earl Grey. Thankfully PD uses Ceylon tea as their black base. I am a firm believer that you can’t just add bergamot to any old leaves and call it Earl Grey. If you are making an Earl Grey the base must be black (Ceylon or Assam). Take your green, white, herbal, and even Darjeeling alleged Earl Greys and go away from me.

I’ve discussed both cornflowers and raspberry leaves in this blog, but let’s review.

Cornflowers are not related to corn. They are bachelor buttons. Commonly seen in a brilliant purplish blue, they also come in pink and white. They got their nickname of cornflowers because they often grow as weeds in grain fields. (Corn is a general term for grain crops such as barley, wheat, rye and oats. It has nothing to do with Amerian maize which is also known as corn). Cornflowers add a spicy kick to teas, similar to clove.

Raspberry leaves are excellent for period pain. It is high in magnesium, potassium, iron and B vitamins. Traditional Medicinals website says it supports healthy menstruation and tones the uterus. https://www.traditionalmedicinals.com/products/raspberry-leaf/ Whip that uterus into shape and drink some raspberry leaf tea! It does not taste like the fruit. If you want raspberry flavoured tea, there are plenty on the market.

This is an example of why this advent calendar is better than Adagio. I want to stress that I love Adagio, and I am delighted with their teas for the most part. I think my high regard for them is part of why their calendar was such a let down for me.

Not to beat a tea bush to death, but even when they included their more popular teas in the advent calendar, Adagio failed to name them correctly. For example, their Earl Grey is really a different blend than a typical Earl Grey because it has added natural cream flavoring, natural vanilla flavoring, and cornflowers. On the site, it’s called Earl Grey Moonlight. On the tea bag from the advent, it was just Earl Grey.

VW here to link you to Adagio’s sampler They have Bravo, Moonlight, Green, Rooibos, Lavender and the once monthly Bella Luna. Bravo is, I believe, their standard version. Which is not great. Moonlight and Bella Luna are freaking superior.

Plum Deluxe is smart. The teas so far have a narrative. They’re loose leaf, which will always make a superior cup. But, they’re also including their best selling teas. Not just trying to get rid of old stock. *Lookin at you Adagio.* Let’s not even go into the fact that PD changes their calendar yearly, and Adagio does not.

VW gave me this tea for my birthday, and I absolutely loved it. I didn’t expect to because I am not a huge fan of strawberries in my tea, but it’s delightful.

If you are a fan of Earl Grey, you’ll enjoy this tea. The balance between the citrusy bergamot and strawberries is perfect.

The black tea itself is a high quality, which for this tea, it’s so necessary for a robust flavor base. Plum Deluxe does that perfectly in this blend. It’s layered so that each sip is exactly nuanced to give you an impeccable Earl Grey.

I don’t have my usual brand of sass for this. This is the kind of tea that I give my respect to. If I were on death row for some crazy caffeine-induced shenanigans, I would probably request Earl Grey as my last meal. So when I stress to you, my dear tea lover. Yes, you. I love this blend.

As for the holiday season, is this the tea for it? Sure. Earl Grey is one of the most common teas on the planet.

It’s like sex and pizza. Even when it’s not good, it’s still good.

But this blend is an example of when its better than good.

I will be bringing my bag up to Alabama when we go visiting family for Christmas. I will enjoy it sitting on the porch in the chilly air. It’s an old friend that I will enjoy visiting with the few quiet moments I’ll have.

5 out of 5.

I bought my first bag of Gratitude Earl Grey last year. I FELL IN LOVE. Not only is Earl Grey my favourite tea (have you seen my nickname for this blog?) I also love strawberries. Is it because I’m a strawberry blonde? Is it because I have all the Strawberry Shortcake dolls (still)?

How have we not come across another EG that uses strawberries? Of course, I’d prefer PD use dried strawberries instead of an essence. I got myself a food dehydrator this year and I love it. I dried so many strawberries for teas all summer long. In this cup I find the strawberry leaves a gentle and pleasant taste in the back of my mouth. It’s sunny and happy. It’s that big fat red strawberry you’ve plucked from the vine on a hot June morning. And later in the day you remember that berry and think … yeah… I need another.

My only complaint about this tea is, it’s gone. And I have to order more.

Lady Grey gives this cuppa 5 out of 5 bergamot spritzed strawberries.

December 8, 2019December 5, 2019

Day 8 Winter Dreams Herbal Tea

Apple pieces, linden blossoms, melissa leaves, lavender, rose, blackberry leaf, orange blossom, blue mallow.

A tea with linden!! Readers of my blog will know that I discovered linden in 2019 and have used it in a few blends of hot and iced tea, including my period pain tea. I’m very excited to see it here.

Melissa leaves (BTW) is Lemon balm. If you have a thyroid condition you should not drink lemon balm. It is in the mint family, and has a mild lemon aroma. It is good for anxiety, stress, insomnia. It is gentle and blends nicely with other herbs. But please consult your physician and/or master herbalist before drinking lemon balm if you have a thyroid condition.

see? it looks like mint. I do not have a thyroid issue. I enjoy using lemon balm in my personal tea blends.

Webmd tells us Thyroid disease: There is a concern that lemon balm may change thyroid function, reduce thyroid hormone levels, and interfere with thyroid hormone-replacement therapy. Avoid lemon balm if you have thyroid disease. https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-437/lemon-balm

This blend is not listed on the site as a usual herbal blend. Another advent calendar exclusive?
The linden scent is super strong here. I have been blending herbal tisanes all summer with linden leaf and flower. So I am intimately familiar with the aroma. It’s overpowering all the other lovely ingredients.

With the linden, lemon balm and blackberry leaf this tea could be used to deal with period pain.

I don’t know that this is named correctly. Nothing about this screams winter dreams. It’s more summer dreams. Because these lovely ingredients are all summery.

This is really delightful. It’s also something I have all the ingredients for all the time in my cabinet. I won’t be buying it for that reason. If I didn’t keep a huge cabinet of loose herbs, I would buy it. If you don’t have a thyroid issue, you should try this. It’s really lovely.

Photo from my commute along Route 117 in Massachusetts.

Pardon me while I stare out at the grey New England sky, the 18 inches of snow on the ground, and day dream of summer as I sip.

I’m giving this delightful blend 5 out of 5 dreams.

I wasn’t planning to drink the whole cup because I have a thyroid condition, and I take medication. The medication is a little asshole, and basically, anything can make it not work as it should. Not that it really matters since I took it at 6am and it’s now 4pm.

But I did drink the whole cup. The lavender jumped out at me first because I use it a lot for my Earl Grey’s when I want a London Fog.

It was a beautiful cup of tea. I have to disagree with VW because it felt wintery to me. Something in the tea had a crisp medicinal taste on the tip of my tongue. I am not sure if that is the linden or the lavender.

You live in Florida. Winter tastes different to you.

I enjoyed this cup without anything, took it straight, and overall just kept sipping it until it was gone, and I was still searching for the taste profile I knew I’ve had before. It wasn’t the lavender, I can’t place it. I have sampled so many tea blends throughout my life, and especially in the last 5 years that narrowing it down has made my method of loci a little overheated. I am usually very good at placing taste and scent to things.
Would I buy this? Probably. It is not crazy high on my list at the moment, but I enjoyed this cup a great deal.

I would recommend this for anyone who wants a daily cup of tea that is more towards herbal and less about a black tea.

Honestly, I was in a bad mood when I started this and prepared VW for the shitshow I would probably unleash. Winter Dreams did not suddenly make me happy, but it was enjoyable, and I found myself relaxing against my will.

5 outta 5 for making my transition back to mostly even keel Hipster Wife.

December 7, 2019December 3, 2019

Day 7 Coconut Macaron Dessert Tea

Black tea, honeybush tea, rooibos tea, coconut pieces, natural almond essence.

I feel Hipster Wife may love this.
What is a macaron, I ask myself as I keep checking the spelling. The interwebs like to ask this question as well. Apparently a macaron is made of two round, flat, almond flour based cookies with a filling in the middle like ganache or jam.

So is this like the precursor to the Oreo?

Someone actually cares more than I do, so you can read more here https://www.chefsteps.com/activities/macarons-macaroons-what-s-the-difference

President Macron “I am not a cookie”
Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric Macron is a French politician who has been the President of France and ex officio Co-Prince of Andorra since 14 May 2017. Wikipedia

I made this cup and am staring at it. I don’t know why, but I am reluctant to drink this. It smells okay. I can smell the honeybush and coconut. Perhaps that is my reluctance.

HW: I think your subconscious knows that if I had a flavor it would be coconut and tea and you don’t want to cannibalize me.

I can see why people who aren’t me would like this. The honeybush, coconut and almond essence (they sure do a lot of these) make the tea have a naturally sweet taste. I’m drinking this cup black.

I am learning that honeybush leaves a weird feeling in my mouth. It is as if my tongue is coated with something.

HW: I’m sorry that bush is leaving a bad taste in your mouth… *snort*

*Throws side eye at HW*

Cup 2 with half and half. Woah. This is a totally different cuppa. AND I LIKE IT. The coconut is creamy. The almond is sadly drowned out. The honeybush is pleasantly drowned out.

Before I trash this tea, I want to say that I feel it is completely relevant to the holiday season. Lots of holiday sweets – cookies and boxes of chocolates- have coconut and/or almond. PD has chosen yet another seasonally appropriate blend for this calendar.

Black: I’m giving it 1.5 out of 5 coconuts. Con crema: I’m giving it 4 out of 5 coconuts. Hold the lime.

Kermit put the lime in the coconut , called the doctor, woke him up…

Viking Wife does not have a bunch of coconuts.. I’ll be singing this song alllll day.

I expected to love this. VW expected me to love this.

If I went to Grasse (The perfume capital of France) and I met a le Nez (aka a nose, or someone who can determine 2,000 scents with their nose), I am reasonably sure I would be told that my pores weep the scent of tannins and of coconuts.

YOU CANNOT GET MORE COCONUTTY THAN ME!

I told her to put that in here. ^

Look I’m gonna beat around the honeybush. *snorts again*

Are you flirting with me again?? Wait, is it a day of the week?

Think of a coconut. So the outer part is the seed case. The white part is the flesh of the seed. The water inside is called endosperm. *Yes I totally am explaining this so I could use sperm in any context.*

When you want coconut oil or milk it is the seed (the white part that you eat) that is pressed. It’s what you want for cooking for skincare.

I think a lot of people want that creamy coconut taste when they read coconut on anything. Like Thai coconut curry uses coconut cream. You’ve seen it on cooking shows, it usually comes in a can and is milk-like.
I really wish that PD had switched the extract. Instead, used a coconut extract and used almond chunks in this. An extract would capture that creamy taste.

I disagree. I’m glad they used the almond extract and the actual coconut flakes.

The almond gets lost in the nutty notes of the honeybush. The coconut falls flat, in my opinion, because the note is more of the water than the creamy goodness of coconut milk.

I enjoyed seeing the flakes of coconut. But it doesn’t do much for the tea. Coconut flesh needs to pressed or pulverized to get the good stuff. I actually got more coconut from when I brought the cup to my mouth, and I got a whiff of my coconut lotion.

It’s a nice cup of black/honeybush tea. Maybe if I had eaten a slice of coconut cream pie, I would’ve gotten more out of it. But alas, no pie.

I met Dawn Wells like 26 years ago when I was interning at a radio station in Boston. She autographed her Gilligan’s Island Cookbook for me. I’ve never made anything from it.

Have you noticed I haven’t mentioned macarons?

I did notice.

Yeah?

Well, it’s because I don’t get at all why it’s in the name of this tea. There is not a single delicious crunchy bite of it to be found. I think they spelled it wrong and they meant macaroon. Which is made of coconut and is a sticky confection that is nothing like a macaron.

5 stars for the black tea cause I love it.

1 coconut. No macarons. = 2.5 stars overall.

December 6, 2019December 3, 2019

Day 6 Blood Orange Reflection Tea

OMG the name makes me want to dress as the Morrigan, put a fake raven on my shoulder, and stare into a blood stained river as I watch the Celtic tribes march to war. Whose death shall I fortell as I wash bloody chain mail in the river…

This must be another advent calendar exclusive. It isn’t listed on the site.

Hibiscus, rosehips, orange peels, orange essence.

I legit could go to my kitchen and blend this from ingredients I always keep in my tea cabinet. And by tea cabinet I mean the fully packed 5 foot tall, two foot deep cabinet that can’t contain all the tea I have. It does not specify blood oranges being used. Perhaps they just call it blood orange because of the hibiscus colour?

Hipster Wife: When shall we drink tea again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

Viking Wife: When the hurly-burly’s done,When the battle’s lost and won.
VW’s daughter: Just make another cup and shush. Nerds.

Hipster Wife: Where the place?

Viking Wife: Upon the heath.

VW’s daughter: One of you get on a plane so you can drink tea together, ffs.

We’d be kick ass as MacBeth’s three witches.

I’ve been looking forward to this. I broke out my owl mug from Hipster Wife for this one. I used all the tea in the bag. It smells like heaven. I may be in love.

Before I sip, I’m going to say that growing up in New England we always got a giant box of oranges from my dad’s boss. They were shipped from Florida or California (the lands of Hipster Wife). My dad is part Scottish, and grew up poor, the son of a Methodist minister. There is a family tradition of an orange in the toe of the stocking, which indicates the previous year had been good financially for the family. My ex-father-in-law is also part Scottish and had a similar tradition in his family.

When I was in third grade, Mrs. Palefsky had us jam whole cloves into oranges to make ornaments or pomanders. I remember the pain to this day in my fingers. This memory was the inspiration behind my orange clove shortbread (not popular with Millennials, but loved by Gen X and Boomers, in my limited taste tester group).

So, for me, oranges scream winter holidays. This is going to be packed with vitamin C. Hibiscus and oranges have vitamin C. Add a splash of homemade elderberry syrup and you’ve got a cold remedy.

This tea is nothing but happiness and sunshine.

https://www.spoonflower.com/en/fabric/7576140-little-cutie-happy-oranges-summer-fabric-orange-by-littlearrowdesign

I would buy this one. Except I have every ingredient in my cabinet. I have a 16 ounce bag of hibiscus. I dry my own orange peels. So I don’t have to buy it. But everyone else should.

Hipster Wife went into this with excitement.

I was excited to try the Murder Fruit Reflection tea. Like my VW, I made sure I had the perfect mug for this tea.

the internet is filled with super weird stuff. just google murder fruit. I did.

My Hannibal Cooking Club. Hannibal as in Hannibal Lecter. Get it? Blood orange, aka murder fruit? *I am here all month, folks! Don’t forget to tip your reviewers.*

This mug is one of my smaller ones. I still had to use the whole bag. The bag itself was kinda muted. I didn’t really smell much. The orange was present, and I was excited. I am a big fan of oranges. I like orange-flavored things.

Christmas, to me, is sticking cloves into oranges for my mom. Or whacking milk chocolate orange balls into hard surfaces.

I wanted to like this.

It brewed up pink, and I enjoyed that. I took a sip.
Nothing. It was like when I am trying to be super healthy, and I stick oranges into my water bottle and wooo, I’m super healthy now! Watch out, people. Master of all things healthy is coming through.

I added some sugar. Nope didn’t help. I swear I feel as if VW and I are the opposite of each other. Teas that I love shes eh, teas that she loves, I’m eh. I guess we meet in the middle with being allergic to the devil’s shrub.

Evil, evil devil’s shrub.

I’d give this another try if I had more. I would brew it with bottled water in case it was my water’s fault. I would try to make this work. Maybe VW could blend me up some, and I can try again.

As it stands, I’d give it 2 stars for looking pretty and bloody.

I’m giving this 5 out of 5 Giant Blood Oranges. This is an amazing cup. All the love!!!

December 5, 2019December 3, 2019

Day 5 Heritage Blend Black Tea

This is also known on the PD website as Maple Scottish Breakfast.

Assam Black Tea, African Black Tea, Darjeeling Black Tea, Vermont Maple Syrup Extract, Safflower, Blue Malva Flowers, Love, Gratitude.

From the site: Scottish Breakfast tea is traditionally a powerful caffeine pick-me-up, comprised with a blend of teas from around the world. We found the perfect black teas from India, Africa, and Sri Lanka paired with a drop of our real Vermont maple syrup extract to create the perfectly balanced maple black tea power combo. We call it the Heritage Blend because this tea reminds us of the people that came before us, and infused in this blend are the roots of tea from around the world. This blend uses “CTC” cuts of each tea — crush, tear, curl. It’s a method in which the leaves are processed to allow them to infuse a lot of flavor, very quickly (since those Scots long ago were in a hurry for their cuppa). That’s why the leaves in this tea are smaller in size and more uniform — but full of fresh flavor, and paired with the authentic syrup makes this the best tasting maple tea out there!

Are there better Scottish options? Sure. But I went with Highlander.

Now let us explore some of these ingredients…

Safflower-a thistle like, herbaceous, annual plant cultivated for vegetable oil extract from the seeds. It was used by early Spanish colonies along the Rio Grande as a substitute for saffron (Wikipedia) According to webmd the oil can be taken to prevent heart disease and stroke, increase hair growth, treat fever, diabetes, tumors, coughs, breathing problems… https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-96/safflower

https://www.oilixiaskincare.com/blog/american-safflower-seed-oil/

Blue Malva Flowers – in the mallow family, native to Western Europe. It makes your tea blue. It is only one of three teas in the world that is naturally blue, change colour, and is natural.

https://nova.co.at/marsNova/en/instance/picture/Malva-Blue-Fountain-.xhtml?oid=9468536

Unlike our favourite butterfly pea flower, when you add lemon to malva, it turns pink! It’s going to be like Sleeping Beauty up in here.

Created by RAYZ – what Hipster Wife and I look like when we argue.

I grew up in Massachusetts. I have aunts in NY state and Maine who tap their own maple trees. Maple syrup runs in my veins!

Not really. But don’t buy Log Cabin or Aunt Jemima. Spend the $ and get the real stuff.

There is too much happening in this cup. I can taste the Darjeeling, which is good. But the other black teas are arguing for who gets to be dominant. It’s like a BDSM party with all doms and no subs. WHAT is going on? Oh, is that maple being submissive in the background? It’s like a ghost of maple syrup. Perhaps we had pancakes for breakfast and the syrup landed on your lip and you licked it and quietly said “oh, hai maple” in a pleasant ghost of breakfast past sort of way.

I went with my “Strong Women Go to Folkvang” mug for this.

HW: OMG WHAT IF IT WAS A BDSM PANCAKE PARTY?! Ohh spank me with your big hot waffle! *Oh I am so writing fanfiction about this.*

How does one tag BDSM Pancake Party on AO3? Is it it’s own fandom? Do we somehow write Mystrade or Johnlock BDSM Pancake Party porn now? Can Stormpilot have one? Are there pancakes in space?

I’m going to Scotland for my birthday in April. I will search breakfast menus for things with maple syrup.

I’m not into this. It’s not bad. It’s just the cacophony of black teas is creating dissonance in my mouth.

Crocheted cotton hot pad made by Hipster Wife for me ❤

That all being said, I have to say that this is a good choice for the advent calendar. Snowy mornings totally call for warm beverages and stacks of syrup covered pancakes. Holiday parties should include cupcakes with maple buttercream frosting, or maple iced snowman cookies. Followers of this blog know that I have made shortbread with maple syrup instead of powdered sugar, and that I have iced shortbread with a maple glaze. (My dad is a fan.) Another excellent selection by our friends at PD for the advent calendar. But not my cup of tea.

I absolutely adore breakfast teas. Not only do I love to drink them, but I enjoy talking about them. I’ve had more than I can count cups of tea that identified as breakfast tea. Traditionally I think most would say there are the three most popular ones. English, Irish, and Scottish.

Opium Wars, the British East India Company, and soft water have molded what we drink today.

If you’ve read my blog or our review from last year, it is no secret that I prefer a robust black tea brew. I want the tea to have a personality. Because of this, I usually drink Scottish Breakfast as my go-to cuppa.

Because I have a low tolerance for caffeine, I tend to enjoy this blend occasionally. I always have some on hand should a morning arrive that I need extra oomph. Adagio actually has a special Scottish Breakfast tea that is sold only on leap day. So once every 4 years and on the 29th. I’m giddy that 2020 is a leap year.

Editorial use only. No book cover usage. Mandatory Credit: Photo by Mgm/Kobal/Shutterstock (5880130l) Cyd Charisse, Gene Kelly, Van Johnson Brigadoon – 1954 Director: Vincente Minnelli MGM Lobby Card/Poster

VW here. The blend she’s referencing is called Brigadoon. I don’t know why. I’ve not seen the … is it a musical?

Another reason that Scottish Breakfast is more robust than the other two is because of the soft water. It takes a lot to brew a decent cuppa, and Plum Deluxe actually uses a method “CTC” where they crush, tear, and curl the tea leaves.

When I first opened the bag, I was immediately pleased by the intense scent of black tea. I was here for this from the first sniff. The maple was a pleasant after note that seemed more like a toasty note.

I brewed this cup strong. (As usual. I don’t fuck around with weak tea.) It was enjoyable straight. But like all breakfast blends, I have found that they change their flavor profile when you add milk or sugar. Straight this tea would be great if you’re in a hurry and leaving for a long drive. It would be a great pepper upper.

But with a dash of ½ and ½ it became the perfect mug. I didn’t need anything else, just this mug, and I could handle anything that life decided to toss at me. The maple wasn’t actually present that much, a hint of sweetness that kissed the back of my palate.

I am ordering this. I feel like I keep saying this. But I loved it. It’s perfect for cold mornings and fits perfectly, in my opinion, with a Christmas advent calendar.

5 outta 5 stars for sure.

Och, lassie, are ye daft? I’m givin’ this 1 maple leaf.

December 4, 2019December 2, 2019

Day 4 Vanilla Mint Green Tea

Honeybush tea, Eleuthero Root, Peppermint, Vanilla Essence.

If you missed yesterday, here’s a recap of Honeybush Tea:

What is Honeybush? It is a South African herbal shrub grown on the Eastern Cape of South Africa, and is related to rooibos (or red bush) which is from the Western Cape of South Africa. The flowers of the honeybush have a honey-like smell. It is caffeine free. It may help decrease blood sugar, treat diabetes, and gives relief from menopausal symptoms.

https://www.verywellfit.com/honeybush-tea-benefits-and-side-effects-4163882

Well, damn. I better start liking honeybush because menopause will be on me in like a decade.

Now let’s dive into Eleuthero Root and WTF are ‘essences’ (because there are a lot in PDs blends).

Eleuthero root – Siberian Ginseng. https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-985/ginseng-siberian

While not true ginseng, it is a relative. Siberian ginseng is less effective than true ginseng. It is said to enhance athletic performance, protects body from stress, relieves anxiety and depression.

eleuthero root. It reminds me of something…

Whenever I read that herbs can help relieve anxiety and depression, red flags are thrown up. Mountain Rose Herbs says there are no known precautions. As always you should consult with your physician, TCM practitioner or master herbalist before drinking or taking any herbs that may interfere with your prescription meds or medical conditions.

I’m putting this all together after we’ve had the tea (and the reactions) so I’m going to insert a bit more info on Eleuthero Root –

Potential side effects of eleuthero usage include:

increased risk of sudden bleeding and hemorrhage
raised or lowered blood pressure
increased or reduced blood sugar levels
hormone changes, especially of cortisol
hives and contact dermatitis or skin rashes
gastrointestinal problems, including diarrhea, nausea, and cramping
muscle spasms
nerve pain
cold extremities
nervousness or aggressiveness
headache
insomnia
confusion

We will get to why I’ve inserted these potential side effects shortly. Let’s look at what our friends at Plum Deluxe say about ‘essences’.

What are the “extracts” and “essences” used in your teas?

Our teas are frequently flavored with extracts and essences. If you are familiar with essential oils or the kinds of baking extracts you have in your kitchen, these are very similar yet formulated differently for teas. We use flavor oils that are free of chemicals and only have natural ingredients distilled from the flavor we actually want. So, for example, vanilla essence is made from vanilla bean, blackberry essence is made from blackberries, etc. We take great pride in using the best flavoring products on the planet – avoiding harsh chemicals and bizarre fake flavorings – which is why our teas not only smell amazing but also taste great.

Okay, not uncommon. Plenty of tea companies do this. Harney & Sons explanation of the flavourings they use is as shady as my cheating ex. PD’s FAQ answer above strikes me as being honest.

Now we get into this…

This tea is not listed on the website. I presume it’s one of the “exclusive teas made just for the calendar.”

HW: Or because they want plausible deniability.

Okay, so before I even get to drink this one, I get a message from Hipster Wife that she’s having an allergic reaction to it. As I type this, she’s sleeping off two Benadryl, and hopefully not having to use her epi pen.

HW: No epi-pens were harmed in the review of this blog.

My first issue with this tea is in the words. Vanilla Mint Green Tea… but it’s made with Honeybush, not green tea.

HW: There was green tea in this. It because obvious once the tea steeped because the green leaves unfurled. I checked because I was like wtf over this tea for 20 minutes before I drank it.

I do not believe it. It’s not listed in the ingredients.

Compliments: there are easily 4 teaspoons in this packet. And it smells nice. It smells the same dry and steeped.

Cup 1: I used a larger mug than one of my little tea cups. I used two teaspoons of tea. I can taste the vanilla, but it’s tempered by the Honeybush in a sweet way. The peppermint is a bit of an afterthought – hanging out on my tongue once the sip has finished.

My shortbread! Earl Grey Moonlight heart, Lemon Ginger spade, and Cranberry Orange maple leaf.

I have to be honest – I’m sipping this and I’m afraid. I don’t think I’ve ever had Eleuthero Root before (or as Hipster Wife so colourfully called it earlier in her voice message ‘it sounds like some sort of penis disease. Oh, he has that, I’m so sorry.’)

HW: I did say this. But I think I used fuck a few times.

I really did not think I would like this one. It is surprisingly nice. Vanilla, peppermint, sorta sweet. This blend really makes the best use out of Honeybush. Very nice.

About 3 minutes later… throat closing is a sign of an allergic reaction, right? Fuck. I don’t have time to have a Benadryl nap. I threw out the remaining tea, and dumped the half cup I didn’t finish into a plant. I took an extra Zyrtek and made myself a cup of Adgio’s Reindeer Fuel. It took a few hours for the swelling in my throat to subside.

If the spider plant dies, we know this wasn’t good.

Is the spider plant dead yet?

No. She lives.

I’m legit surprised that VW found this remotely enjoyable.

I did not. I felt like it smelt like dry grass. I had absolutely no vanilla, and peppermint was missing altogether. I tried so hard to find it. I mean, I TRIED SO HARD. I was following this up with Day 3, which gave me happy memories to this.

Me: This smells like a citronella candle fucked a can of lemon pledge. Where the fuck is the lemon scent coming from? Am I stroking out?

Um… potentially? Did you see the side effects?

The Hubby: …

Me: Here smell this?

TH: um… no?

Me: SMELL THE BAGGGGGGGY! *Shoves into his face*

TH: It smells like dry grass?

*At this point I thought that the bag was mislabeled because green tea is not even listed in the ingredients.*

So I began my mutterings. Some of which VW heard.

“Where the fuck is the mint?” “Eleuthero root sounds like dick rot. Like oh, he has pee issues. Get it uthera – eleuthero.” *Cackles*

TH: It’s also known as the devils’ shrub, touch-me-not, and wild pepper.

HW: Touch-me-not? What part of this screams Christmas?

The first taste was peppery. It almost made me sneeze. I didn’t care for it at all. I was confused because I was not getting any vanilla, nor peppermint.

The second sip didn’t help. I am convinced that this bag was mislabeled. I took a third sip, and I noticed that the peppery after note was making my throat itch.

I am allergic to most tropical fruits. I know the symptoms of a mild allergic reaction. This was a little past that. I was nervous when red splotches started to appear on my arms. So I decided the review was over, and I took some Benadryl and laid down. Thankfully that was all I needed, and I took a lovely middle of the day nap, which ensured I didn’t sleep at night. *fuck*

Even without the devils’ shrub, this tea was not my cup of anything. I don’t usually like green tea, but this was not at all as labeled, at least for me.

“Don’t usually like green tea” is an understatement.

So this gets coal. No stars.

I’m giving it two Benadryl.

December 3, 2019December 2, 2019

Day 3 Chocolate Hazelnut Dessert Tea

Honeybush tea, cocoa nibs, hazelnut pieces, hazelnut essence.

This entry is a journey, for sure. Hold on to your butts.

My first question is: What is honeybush tea?

It is a South African herbal shrub grown on the Eastern Cape of South Africa, and is related to rooibos (or red bush) which is from the Western Cape of South Africa. The flowers of the honeybush have a honey-like smell. It is caffeine free. It may help decrease blood sugar, treat diabetes, and gives relief from menopausal symptoms.

https://www.verywellfit.com/honeybush-tea-benefits-and-side-effects-4163882

When I think about chocolate and hazelnut, I think of Ferrero Rocher and Nutella.

Live Life and Love – The shining example of beautiful chocolate theme Christmas tree. It’s for public viewing and photos taken at Robinson’s Galleria Supermarket before New Year. What a gracious expression of Christmas decoration.

I read about the history of Nutella a few years ago when my daughter was obsessed with eating this grossness every day. It originated in Italy in the 1940’s. A pastry chef called Pietro Ferrero made a paste of hazelnuts (common and cheap), sugar, and cocoa (rare in post WWII). So this mixture was seen as an affordable extravagance.

The same family created the Ferrero Rocher chocolates we are familiar with. These are made of a whole hazelnut in a thin wafer shell filled with hazelnut chocolate and covered in milk chocolate and chopped hazelnuts. It’s like the crunchy version of Nutella.

This smells exactly as I imagined – like red bush with chocolate and hazelnuts.

Cup 1: black. The colour is reddish. It tastes better than it smells. I find red bush/rooibos/honeybush has an acrid aroma that is off-putting. This is just okay. It wouldn’t satisfy a chocolate craving. But it would go fine with a chocolate biscuit.

I got this tea cup at a friend’s shop out in Athol, MA. Wasn’t expecting her to have random tea cups. But who can resist Royal Albert?

Cup 2: with half and half. The flavour did not improve. I was hoping the nutty tones would come out more boldly. That is what happens with black teas that have nutty components. I liked this better black.

I have to say, this is another tea that totally fits with the holiday season. You can serve this with desserts. It’s not overpowering.

I will not be buying this one. It is nice to drink this small amount for the blog, but I’m not a fan of the honeybush tea. I give this one 2.5 out of 5 Ferrero Rocher balls.

Hipster Wife gets up close and personal with the blend.

I always check out what Viking Wife has to say before I begin. Usually, I am much amused by how different our tea experience is. I think that is why we are such a great team when it comes to tea reviews.

I found the scent to be very chocolatey, with a subtle hazelnut follow up. The nuttiness is light and delicate.

I sadly did not smell any red bush. *insert innocent face here.*

HONEYBUSH, NOT RED BUSH. Ye Gods. Either way, this will only end up with you flirting with me and your husband laughing. Please go on…

When I brewed this, I tried half the bag. I found it weak and ended up using the whole bag. I hope this doesn’t become a thing because of these teas I would like to try a second cup of. This one I really enjoyed and was sad I couldn’t enjoy a stress-free (no picking it apart for review) cuppa.

I really love Ferrero Rocher. Like a whole lot.

This is how much Hipster Wife loves them.

One Christmas before my sister moved from California, so like 1993 or so, she threw a Christmas party and had this beautiful centerpiece of little golden balls. I had never had one before.

Let’s just say that I ended the evening mildly ill and surrounded by little gold wrappers.

I’m imagining Hipster Wife passed out in a pile of these.

This tea did not really bring me to the Ferrero Rocher conclusion, which is fine, because it brought me back to happy childhood memories. Which seems to be the case. Day one reminded me of my mom.

Day 3 seems to bring me to my dad.

The first sip was straight tea without anything added to it. It was pleasant. I like my tea usually unsweetened with half and a half, so it was sweet on its own. I liked that. The second sip decided for me that I would add the half and half. On the spur of the moment decision, I added a scoop of sugar.

The next drink was perfect. I don’t know why it reminded me of this one memory (Since this was chocolate tea and hazelnut and not coffee and hazelnut), but I am glad it did. My dad worked for Coca Cola as a transport driver. He would get up while it was still dark and get ready for work. I remembered him standing at the kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in his hand, and his Coke uniform on. He saw that I was awake and came over and gave me a kiss goodbye. It was coffee and hazelnut creamer. *Plus toothpaste but that’s not relevant.* I think I was like four or five?

I drank this whole cup of tea with my hand wrapped around the mug and a smile on my face. It was soothing, comforting, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I have added this to my list of teas that I need to purchase with Christmas money.

5 out of 5 stars. Legit. It’s a delightfully, creamy, and rich cup of tea.

December 2, 2019December 1, 2019

Day 2 – Blackberry Toddy Black Tea

One of my cat’s favourite foods. No lie. She’s weird AF. Photo courtesy of Home Depot

I thought we’d be talking about fruit cake or something. Instead…

Based on the name, I presumed I’d hate it. I dislike blackberry teas. But this one is fruity. I look forward to it. I can smell the hibiscus and apples. I am aware of other fruit scents, but can’t quite tell them apart.

I checked my bag twice. When I saw that day 2 was a Blackberry Toddy Black Tea, I was like.. Okay Plum Deluxe, where is the mini bottle of booze that needs to make this shit a toddy?

The elves at PD must’ve drunk mine.

I don’t know about the lawless land of Florida, but I don’t think we can get alcohol through the mail here in Massachusetts. BYOWhisky

What is a toddy? I have never had one. My ignorance must be amended. According to thefreedictionary.com it is: A drink made from spirits, esp whisky, with hot water, sugar, and usually lemon juice.

Looking at recipes, I can tell you I could not drink a hot toddy. The amounts of sugar are far too much for my system. I also don’t drink whisky. So let’s see what this cup reveals.

My mom made me hot toddy’s when she felt I had caught a chill. (I loved to walk home from school in the rain. There would be a warm bath and sometimes a hot toddy waiting for me.)

Please comment if you’d love my family recipe because I think it’s pretty great, and it involves tea! Most do not. But ours does.

Drinking it black (usual) and at work. I measured the tea with my teaspoon and found it to be just over 2 teaspoons, so I made a full 16 ounce mug with the whole bag.

Regular blog and IG followers will recognize what I shall now call my “iconic” work tea mug

I have a strong aversion to teas made with blackberry. This is surprisingly nice. Whatever PD is doing here, it works. This is a fruity black tea that reminds me very slightly of the Tower of London blend by Harney & Sons. I am not able to pick up the spices here. But the blend is so … blended… that I don’t feel like I am missing out on not being able to distinguish the flavour of each ingredient.
I thought I’d be reminded of fruit cakes when I looked at the bag. But this is really more of a comforting suggestion of fruit punches, hot cider, mulled wine. It’s really nice.

I can’t say I’d order this regularly. But if you had it when I visit, I’d drink it with you. But please don’t put whisky in mine.

Once I opened the bag for this, I did not smell blackberries at all. It was sweet and fruity, but all I could smell was cherries.

There are a lot of ingredients in this. I mean, I looked for the kitchen sink after love and gratitude, but it wasn’t listed. I would not be surprised if it contained the universe and the number 42.

another shot from Home Depot. I’m not endorsing them. I’m just snagging their pics.

The tea looked pretty in the bag. I had a few pieces of dried apple and a large dried orange peel. I wanted to save some for another cup, but I felt it brewed up weak with half a bag, so I added the second half and let it steep a bit longer. I still did not catch any scents besides cherries or hibiscus. I had my nose like half an inch from the orange peel and didn’t smell it over the other two.

I feel confused about the lack of blackberries. Still looking for the whiskey or bourbon as well. But I’m always looking for a reason to drink.

The tea is pleasant, and I liked it. I am not a fan of fruity teas, and this is one I would drink.

It brewed up pinkish, which would be the hibiscus. I wish there were more for a second cup because I brewed it in a dark mug.

I think this would be lovely as a base for mulled wine. It has that soothing feeling that maybe is why PD called it a toddy. I believe this is an excellent tea for this time of the year. Especially hot. But perhaps chilled it would be suitable for spring activities.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars. It would’ve been higher had the elves included the booze.

I also give this 3.5 out of 5. But not stars. Blackberries? Shots of whisky? Put the kettle on, and we’ll ponder…